Dndorks Comic

Pedo-Illithid - 2/5/2013

Tue, 5 Feb 2013 05:00:00 GMT

Lisa: Hey guys, I know we were planning on trying the D&DNext playtest, but I thought we should try "Adventurer Conqueror King System". It's supposed to be like D&D, but without the reality-warping, mass halluciinations. So go ahead and roll up your stats, 3d6 in order, and choose a good character class.

Ethan (Looking pensive): Hmm.

Laura: Ooh! Strength 16, Dexterity 14! Assassin!

George: Um... Intelligence 15. Mage?

Dan: No Monk in the core book? I guess I'll just go Fighter, then.

Ethan still looks pensive.

Lisa: Well? Ethan?

Ethan: Is there a point-buy option?

Lisa: Sorry.

Ethan: 4d6, drop the lowest?

Lisa (Looking exasperated): No.

Ethan (Looking frustrated): Can I re-roll the whole thing a few times?

Lisa (Looking angry): ETHAN!

Ethan (Full of rage): OH FOR THE LOVE OF VLAAKITH! I ROLLED ALL TENS AND TWELVES! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH HERE!

Lisa: Do my parents even know you hang out here?

Laura looks on at Ethan with suspicion, imagining Pedobear in Ethan's suit.

Pedo-Illithid - 2/5/2013

Tue, 5 Feb 2013 05:00:00 GMT

Ethan (Looking pensive): Hmm.

Laura: Ooh! Strength 16, Dexterity 14! Assassin!

George: Um... Intelligence 15. Mage?

Dan: No Monk in the core book? I guess I'll just go Fighter, then.

Ethan still looks pensive.

Lisa: Well? Ethan?

Ethan: Is there a point-buy option?

Lisa: Sorry.

Ethan: 4d6, drop the lowest?

Lisa (Looking exasperated): No.

Ethan (Looking frustrated): Can I re-roll the whole thing a few times?

Lisa (Looking angry): ETHAN!

Ethan (Full of rage): OH FOR THE LOVE OF VLAAKITH! I ROLLED ALL TENS AND TWELVES! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH HERE!

Lisa: Do my parents even know you hang out here?

Laura looks on at Ethan with suspicion, imagining Pedobear in Ethan's suit.

Pedo-Illithid - 2/4/2013

Mon, 4 Feb 2013 05:00:00 GMT

Ethan (Looking pensive): Hmm.

Laura: Ooh! Strength 16, Dexterity 14! Assassin!

George: Um... Intelligence 15. Mage?

Dan: No Monk in the core book? I guess I'll just go Fighter, then.

Ethan still looks pensive.

Lisa: Well? Ethan?

Ethan: Is there a point-buy option?

Lisa: Sorry.

Ethan: 4d6, drop the lowest?

Lisa (Looking exasperated): No.

Ethan (Looking frustrated): Can I re-roll the whole thing a few times?

Lisa (Looking angry): ETHAN!

Ethan (Full of rage): OH FOR THE LOVE OF VLAAKITH! I ROLLED ALL TENS AND TWELVES! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH HERE!

Lisa: Do my parents even know you hang out here?

Laura looks on at Ethan with suspicion, imagining Pedobear in Ethan's suit.

Negotiation - 4/9/2012

Mon, 9 Apr 2012 05:00:00 GMT

Panel 1

Mareg blocks a kobold spear with his shield while parrying another’s axe. Ethan defends against multiple attacks and is sweating.

Mareg “So many”

Panel 2

Lia stands facing the lich queen, both wielding arcane energies. Albert dressed in a zombie kobold suit and is ready to pull down a lever.

Lich queen “You’re doomed Lia, my revenge is complete”

Lia “Its not over until the fat kobold sings Karissa!”

Lich queen “No running for you either, I’ve prepared this room as a doom cage, pull the lever!”

Lia “There is two things you’re mistaken about.”

Lich queen “Oh?”

Panel 3

Same as before or merged into the previous as one larger width panel, whateve.

Lia “One, adding the prefix doom does not make this cellar sound more ominious.”

Lich queen “And?”

Lia “I had one illusion left, and I used it on Arthur. Turn Undead then pull the lever!”

Panel 4

The Arthur kobold pulls out his holy symbol sending the kobolds scurrying in all directions, while in the other hand he pulls on the lever.

Arthur “Back foul undead in the name of Pelor!”

Panel 5

I’m imagining this scene zoomed out

Portculi slam down after the zombie kobolds are pushed out of the room by Arthur’s turn undead, leaving the heroes and the lich queen inside and the zombies outside.

Lia “Looks like its us and you now Karissa!”

Lich Queen“You know, its sort of silly to still be fighting after all these years, how about we talk it out?”

The Confrontation - 9/14/2011

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 05:00:00 GMT

Overview: The lich queen confronts the party, threatening the group with zombie kobolds, including the princess. The only source of light are two burning kobold skulls on poles.

Panel 1

Lich Queen sits at a throne, the princess is on the floor in front her, being held by two zombie kobolds. Lia is peeking around a corner.

Lich queen “Honestly, Lia, you and the rest might as well come out. The stench of the living is so pungent that your attempt to hide is futile.”
Lia “Sigh…”

Panel 2

Lia and Mareg stand braced for combat, facing the lich queen on her throne.

Mareg “You put us in a cage, witch! It’s payback time!”

Lich queen “Yawn…. Perhaps you were merely bait to draw out my old nemesis… LIA!”

Lia “Me?”

Panel 3

Dreamy edges, this is a flashback panel.

The lich queen is alive, young and wearing harry potter style robes, with a very haughty look . Lia is in harry potter robes too, likewise young. Behind them is a brick pillar with a sign “20 and ½”

Lich Queen bubble at the top “We were waiting for the lightning rail and I had just met you…”

Lich queen “So you’re the famous young elf, eh? You can be my friend.”
Lia “Wait, what?!?! No! No flashbacks! We’re here to end this!”
Lich queen “sigh… Fine.”

Panel 4

There are zombie kobolds with spears surrounding the group facing the lich queen.
Lia “Where did they come from?!!”
Lich Queen “I instructed them to surround you during the flashback.”
Mareg “That’s not fair!”

Lich Queen “That’s why I’m evil! Mwa ha ha ha ha!”

The Escape - 8/8/2011

Mon, 8 Aug 2011 05:00:00 GMT

Overview: The doctor offers Melissa to come on his journeys. Shes confused and turns it down before she realizes.

Panel 1

DM sits at the gaming table facing everyone

DM “So my dad got an email yesterday, everyone had to give back their prototypes, so I guess I’m back to DMing. But don’t worry, Darmeth will still get face time every now and then though, as an NPC!”
group “Groan…….”

Panel 1.b

DM sits at the gaming table facing everyone

DM “Who wants to finally finish this?”

Group “Yay!”

Panel 2

Lia and Arthur are staring at the entrance to the dungeon where two zombie kobolds stand next to a Nothic.

Arthur “Zombie kobolds now? How in the Nine Hells are we going to get in the dungeon and rescue them?”
Lia “I’ve got an idea.”

Panel 3

Darmeth is standing next to Lia and Arthur now while Lia magically draws (like a whiteboard) a plan involving stick figures with a Lia stick figure summoning a meteor swarm at 3 kobold stick figures while an Arthur figure sneaks past them.
Lia “So this is going to be tough, and use my dailies, but”
Darmeth “Whatcha guys doin?”
Arthur “Aieeee!! Darmeth what the…We’re supposed to be rescuing you!”

Panel 4

Darmeth faces Lia and Arthur, who appear surprised.
Darmeth “No problem, it turns out zombie kobolds aren’t very perceptive, I cast an illusion while Ethan picked the locks with his tail”
Arthur “Whats next?”
Darmeth “We found a secret door, leads straight to the throne room, lets go!”

- 6/20/2011

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 05:00:00 GMT

Overview: The doctor offers Melissa to come on his journeys. Shes confused and turns it down before she realizes.

Panel 1

The doctor, Mike, and Melissa stand outside the TARDIS The doctor is leaving, wants Melissa to go..

Doctor “Melissa, you were a lot of help. Would you like to come with me?”
Melissa “Where?”
Doctor “Anywhere, anywhen!”
Melissa “Uh, no thanks”

Panel 2

The doctor goes inside the TARDIS.

Doctor “Ok, well then, ta ta!”
Melissa “Bye, I guess…”

Panel 3

Mike is holding Melissa close.

Mike “I’m so glad you stayed with me, I was worried Mel!”
Melissa “Worried? Hes cool, but doesn’t mean I want to hang out with him in his phone booth”
Mike “Whats that sound?”

BRAAAAW BRAAAAW BRAAAAW

Panel 4

The TARDIS has nearly vanished. Melissa is yelling at the doctor to come back
Melissa “Doctor, come back! I want to go with you!”
Mike “But what about us?”
Melissa “Come baaaaaaaack!”

Come Play, My Lord - 5/23/2011

Mon, 23 May 2011 05:00:00 GMT

Overview: Arthur rushes in to impress Melissa, only to find Mike and Melissa.

Panel 1

Arthur rushes in, only to see Melissa and Mike holding each other in the distance.

Arthur“Melissa, I redirected the secur… Melissa?”

Melissa“You had me so worried Mike”
Mike “I could never hurt you Mel, you know that!”

Arthur “…but, I thought…”

Panel 2

Melissa, holding Mike’s hand, talk to the doctor.

Doctor“Ok, I’m done, time to leave”
Mike “…”
Melissa “Done? Did you…kill it?”
Doctor “Not quite…at least not its mind…unfortunately”

Panel 3

Melissa, holding Mike’s hand, talking to the doctor.

Doctor“it uploaded its mind to the internet, I couldn’t get rid of it, but I did…”
Mike interrupts “What!? Infect it with a mac virus? Ask it an illogical question?”
Doctor “Good ideas, but no, I trapped it in something called…Evony”

Panel 4

DMNet is on one side while a sexy lady talks to it..
Evony “Come play my lord”
DMNet/Darlok“Not Play, EXTERMINATE!”
Evony “Help Save the Kingdom my lord”
DMNet/Darlok “Aiiieeeeeeeeee”

EXTERMINATE - 5/9/2011

Mon, 9 May 2011 05:00:00 GMT

Overview: Mike looms over the two, Melissa’s love for Mike saves them.

Panel 1

Mike looms over the Doctor and Melissa about to throw a file cabinet

Melissa“Doctor, do something!”
Doctor “I never was much good at Rugby”
DMNet “Destroy them!!!!”

Panel 2

Melissa is crying, Mike is hesitating, DMNet is getting angry. The doctor is carefully reaching for his sonic screwdriver.

Melissa“Please Mike, its me, Melissa”
Mike “…”
DMNet “Exterminate, EXTERMINATE!”

Doctor “That’s it Melissa, talk to him!

Panel 3

The glow fades from Mikes eyes, Mike puts down the file cabinet.

Melissa“I love you Mike”
Mike “…Melissa?”
Melissa “Come back to us Mike!”
DMNet ”STUPID CREATURE, EXTERMINATE ALL HUMANS!”

Panel 4

Mike now has DMNet above his head.. The doctor is trying to open the door. The Dalek is behind the glass.
Mike “Argh!”
Doctor “Just keep him busy a bit longer until I can get in”

Panel 5
Mike tosses DMNet through the glass.

Doctor “That works too.”
Melissa “Yay, go Mike!”

Blue 20 - 4/18/2011

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 05:00:00 GMT

Panel 1

The doctor is trying to use his sonic screwdriver on the door leading into the Dalek, which can be seen through the glass window. Melissa is standing next to him encouraging the doctor.

Melissa“Why isn’t it opening?”
Doctor “I don’t know, it keeps relocking before I finish unlocking it, I think its stopping me.”
Melissa “hold on, I’ve got an idea.”

Panel 2

This should be a split panel to show Melissa on one side with her cell phone and Albert on the other. Albert is in Melissa’s car with a laptop and a Bluetooth in his ear.

Albert“Melissa? You want me to come in now?”
Melissa “No, we need your back door into IBM, still go it?”
Albert “Anything for you Melissa, of course!”
Melissa “Great, I’ll put you on speakerphone…”

Panel 3

Melissa and the doctor are looking at the door again, Melissa’s phone is in her hand and Albert’s voice is coming from the phone.

Melissa“Well Albert?”
Albert “Theres some sort of virus all over, infecting everything.”
Melissa “So you can’t do it?!??”
Albert “Pshaw! I already did it, you just have the physical lock to deal with now.”
DMNet (from off screen) “Stop!”

Panel 4

Mike is in the doorway holding a football.
DMNet “Footballinate!”

Mike“Blue 20, Blue 20, Hut!”

Panel 4B
The football is flying through the air.
Panel 4C
The football smashes into the sonic screwdriver, knocking it flying.

The doctor“Nooooooo!”

*Panel 4/B/C could be an action shot where it’s a big panel with multiple smaller panels, or whatever, I trust you to do your thing with it. J